Hamalo 2008-01-13 01:26:58

YoinK...your raps are awesome. Even though the line size and rhyme is all out of wack, it still goes for an awesome rap.

Psychogoldfish is a fucking loser!

:p

BonzoRonzan 2008-01-13 03:01:12

NG-Unit, the only reason you think" Psychogoldfish is a fucking loser!" is because those are the only 5 words used in yoinks song.

Chorus:"Psychogoldfish is a fucking loser!Psychogoldfish is a fucking loser!Psychogoldfish is a fucking loser!Psychogoldfish is a fucking loser!Psychogoldfish is a fucking loser!Psychogoldfish is a fucking loser!Psychogoldfish is a fucking loser!"

Verse 1:"Psychogoldfish is a fucking loser!Psychogoldfish is a fucking loser!Psychogoldfish is a fucking loser!Psychogoldfish is a fucking loser!Psychogoldfish is a fucking loser!Psychogoldfish is a fucking loser!Psychogoldfish is a fucking loser!Psychogoldfish is a fucking loser!"

Etc.

RWA 2008-01-13 08:12:44

Well,I agree you should keep practicing until you are better,but you should do so from the basics. If you're doing an longer animation - start with the script,tests and sketches. If you are going to rap,start with the basics,first learn what rap is all about,and then go further -first start with freestyles about anything,then turn to specific subject,then make a song with the verse and chorus,later and intro and outro,and then,at the END, start doing disses (if necessary). But when doing them,do the same as you do with animations,script,test,sketches. Start from small,then advance,instead of going to the highest level without practice.

You don't even have to listen to me,you may think - "oh,this kid is going to teach me how to rap?",but I believe I have a point there. Listen to the old-school rappers,and maybe some newer like Dr Dre,Xzibit,Mobb Deep...Hell,you should take even a white rapper like Eminem as an example. When he started rapping,he had the same problem with you,not only he was white,,but he also had pitched-squeaky voice (no offense) ,and if some of his older songs were submitted to the NG portal,I would vote "0" without thinking. But he accepted his situation,and trained his voice and look where he is now :)

Here is something that may help you - make two columns.In one write any word that comes to you connected to the subject of you rap. After doing that,in the 2nd column,write all words you can find that rhyme with the ones in the first. Then just put small pieces together,edit/change things you don't like.

If you haven't you should see "8 Mile" because you can learn a lot of magic to disses on other people.

Hope this tips were helpful,and good luck on further projects :)

Peace

BonzoRonzan 2008-01-13 13:50:41

I wasn't serious about those being your exact lyrics, buddy. Maybe PG isn't the only one who "Doesn't understand things fully."?

MindChamber 2008-01-14 11:42:31

Hehe The best part of that song is when you Told Fish he was a loser being on the computer all day.

Then I come to your userpage and see you have a Level 47 rank with a Deity Whistle. :-p

Anyways good luck with the rap stuff,
You're about as skilled as Stevie Wonder!!

If he was a painter.

8912 2008-01-16 00:19:11

how long did you make flash for?

DJ-Dax 2008-01-16 00:39:50

Hey it's all good bud, this is Newgrounds after all, people come here at their own risk, so if you offend them, its their fault for looking/listening to it ya know... Theres a lot of stuff on here that would offend a bunch of people and well...shit happens, i think your music is fine as it is keep it up ^_^

ShortMonkey 2008-01-16 06:48:23

looking good...

</commenting on art>

pacometaloso 2008-01-16 13:38:00

Due you rock.